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Presuming My Own Competence
Enjoying a well deserved break at Merchavim this week. The start of a new year invites reflection. It asks us to look back, not to judge ourselves, but to understand what carried us forward. Two years ago, if anyone had suggested, hinted, or even dared to imagine that Asaf would be living at home, content, happy, with a rich inner world we could access, communicating with us through typing, I honestly would have laughed in their face. Not because I lacked love, nor because I
abigail0269
Jan 15 min read


My Personal Miracle
Last week we celebrated Chanukah. Chanukah is the festival of lights, celebrating the miracle of the oil lasting the entire 8 days of the festival. I have my own miracle of light here at home with me. A light that has entered our lives and filled them with life, and a light that has entered his own life too. Asaf is my miracle of light. I have been given the rare gift of truly meeting my son, of getting to know the person who was always there, hidden inside, waiting. Since As
abigail0269
Dec 25, 20254 min read


The Fear that Lives in my Heart
Asaf and Dill exercising in his running group When Asaf was a young child, he was a bolter. If he had the slightest opportunity, an open door, a distracted moment, he would disappear within seconds. He loved climbing and had absolutely no sense of danger. His favorite escape destination was always the playground. I would often find him standing on the pointed roof of the slide, one leg on each side, carefully balancing himself. But it was never calm. Each tiny wobble sent a
abigail0269
Nov 27, 20255 min read


The Mind that Knows, The Body that Struggles
The Reunion with his phenomenal teacher Einat. Last week I was invited to deliver my lecture, “A Voice from the Silence,” at Asaf’s former school , a place that was home for him for eight phenomenal years. Walking through the familiar hallways filled me with emotions that are hard to describe. This was where so many chapters of our journey unfolded, years of growth, challenges, and lessons that shaped who we both are today. It felt deeply symbolic to return there, standing in
abigail0269
Nov 14, 20254 min read


Over The Threshold
One of the games I love playing is backgammon. I have a running tournament with one of my friends, and there is always an open game on the table on my back porch. It’s always waiting for one of the kids to join me..I think I can safely say that the back porch is everyone’s favorite place in the house, except for Asaf. Asaf’s armchair in the salon is sacred territory. Anyone who forgets that quickly finds themselves lifted out of it by Asaf. It didn’t matter how many times we
abigail0269
Nov 8, 20253 min read


The Voice Around the Table
An absolutely incredible thing happened in our home recently. We were sitting around the Friday night table, with all the children present, which is something that becomes more precious as they grow older. I asked the kids to share a good thing that happened to them this week. Each one shared. And then I turned to Asaf and said “You’re part of this conversation too”. I presented him with the keyboard. When I share our story of how Asaf began communicating with us through typ
abigail0269
Oct 16, 20253 min read


Nothing Else Matters
I always thought that as Asaf’s mother, I knew my son. I knew what he liked to eat, where he liked to spend time, and I told myself I...
abigail0269
Sep 18, 20254 min read


The Curse of Apraxia
Apraxia is a curse for any non-verbal individual with autism. Imagine being fully aware, fully intelligent, yet trapped in a body that...
abigail0269
Sep 11, 20254 min read


The Gift of Being Me
How stepping away helped me reclaim myself and what truly matters. Biogradska Gora. The last couple of months have been challenging. I’d...
abigail0269
Aug 14, 20254 min read


Trapped in Silence
Asaf and his wonderful carer Dill at running group this week. This week, I’m writing from a place of deep frustration. Not the fleeting...
abigail0269
Jul 24, 20254 min read


Twenty Five: A Birthday Like No Other
This year was the first time ever that Asaf could truly be part of the preparations for his birthday. And what a difference that has...
abigail0269
Jul 18, 20252 min read


A Birthday Blessing to Asaf
Asaf celebrating his birthday at Merchavim Asaf, 25 years ago today you made me a mother . I remember it clearly, the moment you...
abigail0269
Jul 3, 20253 min read


When Silence Holds Fear: Reflections from the Safe Room
How does one deal with fear when there's no simple way to express it? The war with Iran, over the past two weeks, has brought that...
abigail0269
Jun 26, 20254 min read


Healthy Egoism
Quality Time together in the Safe Room People often ask me where my strength comes from, how am I so resilient. The answer isn’t...
abigail0269
Jun 19, 20254 min read


Mum, I Want to Talk to You
On Friday Morning at 3am, The Air raid Sirens sounded. We were jolted awake by air raid sirens echoing across the country, unsure what...
abigail0269
Jun 14, 20253 min read


Love Needs to be Presumed Too...
I’ve written a lot about the voice I discovered in my son Asaf , a voice that rises from silence, from typing, from the inner world he...
abigail0269
Jun 13, 20253 min read


When Asaf Told Me I Was Getting on His Nerves — and I Loved It
Sunset on Hof Dor Two months ago, Asaf asked that we — his family — stop participating in his typing sessions. He wanted the space to...
abigail0269
Jun 5, 20253 min read


I HAVE A DREAM
Taking an ice cream break together 🌅 I HAVE A DREAM 🌅 And it’s time to verbalise it, time to visualise it, and time to make it...
abigail0269
May 29, 20252 min read


Our Truth, Six Months In
It’s been six months since I started writing my blog. If you had told me a year ago that I would be writing heartfelt posts, publishing...
abigail0269
May 22, 20253 min read


When Pain Has No Words.
Enjoying a refreshing morning together in the clear waters of Nachal Hakibutzim. For as long as I can remember, I believed Asaf had a...
abigail0269
May 16, 20255 min read
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